Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 7.12.6

Pradyumna: Oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya. Oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya. Oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya. [devotees repeat] [chants verse word by word; devotees respond. Begins to chant line-by-line; devotees chant reponsively, not letting Pradyumna finish line]

Prabhupāda: Let him say, then you. Suśīlo mita-bhug dakṣaḥ.

Pradyumna: [continues chanting verse; devotees respond; chants synonyms; devotees respond]

suśīlo mita-bhug dakṣaḥ śraddadhāno jitendriyaḥ yāvad-arthaṁ vyavaharet strīṣu strī-nirjiteṣu ca [SB 7.12.6]

[02:54]

Translation: "The brahmacārī should be quite well behaved and gentle in nature. He should not eat or collect more than necessary. He must always be active and expert, fully believing in the instructions of the spiritual master and the śāstra. In this way, fully controlled over the senses, behaved with women as much as necessary, as well as persons who are controlled by women, should be associated with only as much as necessary."

Prabhupāda:

suśīlo mita-bhug dakṣaḥ śraddadhāno jitendriyaḥ yāvad-arthaṁ vyavaharet strīṣu strī-nirjiteṣu ca [SB 7.12.6]

So now, actually behavior, the first thing is suśīla, very well behaved, gentle. Śīla means behavior, and su means very good. Suśīlo mita-bhuk. This can be attained only when one practices eating whatever is absolutely necessary; not eating more. This is also enjoined by Rūpa Gosvāmī: atyāhāraḥ prayāsaś ca prajalpo niyamāgrahaḥ [Upadeśāmṛta 2].

[One's devotional service is spoiled when he becomes too entangled in the following six activities: (1) eating more than necessary or collecting more funds than required; (2) overendeavoring for mundane things that are very difficult to obtain; (3) talking unnecessarily about mundane subject matters; (4) practicing the scriptural rules and regulations only for the sake of following them and not for the sake of spiritual advancement, or rejecting the rules and regulations of the scriptures and working independently or whimsically; (5) associating with worldly-minded persons who are not interested in Kṛṣṅa consciousness; and (6) being greedy for mundane achievements.]

Atyāhāra, eating more than necessity, is condemned everywhere. Spiritual life means reducing eating, sleeping, mating and defending. That is spiritual life. Nidrāhāra-vihārakādi-vijitau. The Rūpa Gosvāmī and other six Gosvāmīs, they conquered over these things, nidrā-āhāra. So a brahmacārī should not eat anything except prasādam, that also when he is called by the spiritual master, "You can come and eat." This we have discussed.

So mita-bhuk. We shall be very, very cautious about eating. And dakṣaḥ. Dakṣaḥ means active, not lazy, sleeping. This is not good. Nidrāhāra-vihāra. Everyone has to conquer over sleeping, so that is called dakṣaḥ. And dakṣaḥ means expert. Whatever business is entrusted to him, he does it very nicely, dakṣa. Just like Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī, he was no..., had no interest in material things. His father's estate was very big, and he was not interested. But at a time when there was a political situation, he tackled it very nicely. This is the example of dakṣa. There was some political controversy between Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī's father's uncle, father, uncle, and the government minister. So the minister, in order to take advantage, he came to arrest Raghunātha Gosvāmī's father and uncle, and they fled away from the house. So the minister arrested Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī, the son, because if he was chastised, he'll disclose the secret where his father and uncle has fled. And so Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī—it is a long story—tackled the situation so nicely that there was peace between the minister and his father and uncle, and the misunderstanding was settled up. So this is called dakṣa. Not that because he has become Kṛṣṅa conscious, and Vaiṣṅava, he is unable to do anything of this material world. No. One who is Kṛṣṅa conscious, he is conscious of everything and he knows how to deal with them. That is called dakṣa. Not that "Because I have become Kṛṣṅa conscious I have no knowledge in other things." No. Every... You must have, if not complete, to know something of everything. That is intelligence, to know something of everything and to know everything of something. That is wanted. You may be expert, a devotee. You know everything of devotional service, but you should not be callous. You know something of everything. That is called dakṣa.

Dakṣa śraddadhānaḥ: faithful. Faithful to whom? To the spiritual master. Whatever he says, the brahmacārī should take it: "Yes, it is my life and soul." That is the explanation given by Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura. He is explaining with reference to the verse vyavasāyātmikā buddhir ekeha kuru-nandana [Bg 2.41]. He very nicely explains. You have perhaps read it, Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura's... Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura has taught very, very nicely about guru. Therefore he has written in Gurvaṣṭaka, yasya prasādād bhagavat-prasādaḥ. He is example, practical example, of guru-bhakti, Viśvanātha Cakravartī Ṭhākura. He accepted his guru, Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. So he said that "I am not interested for my salvation or going back to Godhead. I am not interested." Interested means "It may come; it may not come. That I don't mind. But I am interested only with the words of my guru," Viśvanātha Cakravartī said. "That is my life. Whether I will be successful or not successful, it doesn't matter. I must take the words of my Guru Mahārāja as my life and soul."

Actually, that is the secret of success. Yasya deve parā bhaktir yathā deve tathā gurau.

yasya deve parā bhaktir yathā deve tathā gurau tasyaite kathitā hy arthāḥ prakāśante mahātmanaḥ [Śvetāśvatara Upaniṣad 6.23]

[Unto those great souls who have implicit faith in both the Lord and the spiritual master, all the imports of Vedic knowledge are automatically revealed.]

So that is the secret of success, śraddadhāna, to accept the words of guru very, very faithfully. Śraddha. This is brahmacārī's... And jitendriya, self-controlled. That is the brahmacārī. He is not agitated by the senses. The whole practice is to control the senses. That is Vedic civilization. I have several times explained that senses cannot be let loose. Senses must be controlled. That is called svāmī or gosvāmī. Svāmī does not mean that "I am the svāmī, husband, of my wife, and I can use her to my best capacity." No. Svāmī means the master of the senses. That is called svāmī or gosvāmī. Go means senses, and svāmī... Everyone in this material world is controlled by the senses. That is material world. We cannot control our senses. The tongue is dry and dictating, "Take a cigarette, take a cigarette," and immediately I begin to smoke. That means I am dictated by the tongue. Then tongue, then belly. The belly is filled up, and still, there is some nice foodstuff—"All right, let me eat it." Control, cannot control. And then genital. That, we know very well, we cannot control. This straight line: tongue, belly and the genitals. Therefore one should control the tongue first.

That is spiritual life beginning, controlling the tongue. Sevonmukhe hi jihvādau [Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.234].

[No one can understand the transcendental nature of the name, form, quality and pastimes of Śrī Kṛṣṅa through his materially contaminated senses. Only when one becomes spiritually saturated by transcendental service to the Lord are the transcendental name, form, quality and pastimes of the Lord revealed to him.]

The controlling of the senses begins from the tongue. If you allow the tongue to eat anything in the restaurant or anywhere, then you cannot become the jitendriya. And if you can control the tongue—"My dear tongue, I shall not give you any food which is not offered to Kṛṣṅa, kṛṣṅa prasādam"—then the tongue is controlled. And kṛṣṅa-prasādam means patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyaṁ yo me bhaktyā prayacchati [Bg 9.26].

[If one offers Me with love and devotion a leaf, a flower, fruit or water, I will accept it.]

If you want to offer Kṛṣṅa something, we must know what Kṛṣṅa wants to eat. Just like if you call a friend, you ask him, "My dear friend, what do you like to eat?" Then it is etiquette. And that is going on. Similarly, you have invited Kṛṣṅa here. He has come. Don't think He has not come. He is here, sākṣād vrajendra-nandana-hari. The atheist may say, "Oh, these rascals are worshiping a stone," but that is not the fact. We are not spending so much energy and money for installing a stone. Stone is already there. Therefore it is forbidden, arcye śilā-dhīr guruṣu nara-matiḥ [Padma Purāṅa]. If you think the Deity as śilā, means stone, and guruṣu nara-matiḥ, if you think guru as ordinary human being, vaisnave jati-buddhi, and if you think a Vaiṣṅava, "He is American Vaiṣṅava. He is Indian Vaiṣṅava," jāti-buddhi nārakī—you become nārakī immediately. These are the descriptions.

So jitendriya. A brahmacārī means jitendriya. Śamena damena vā. Tapasā brahmacaryeṅa [SB 6.1.13]. Tapasā. Brahmacārī life means tapasya.

tapasā brahmacaryeṅa śamena damena vā tyāgena satya-śaucābhyāṁ yamena niyamena vā [SB 6.1.13]

[To concentrate the mind, one must observe a life of celibacy and not fall down. One must undergo the austerity of voluntarily giving up sense enjoyment. One must then control the mind and senses, give charity, be truthful, clean and nonviolent, follow the regulative principles and regularly chant the holy name of the Lord. Thus a sober and faithful person who knows the religious principles is temporarily purified of all sins performed with his body, words and mind. These sins are like the dried leaves of creepers beneath a bamboo tree, which may be burned by fire although their roots remain to grow again at the first opportunity.]

This is life. Not that extravagant life is life. That is the present position of India, that we have lost our own culture. Brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsī—this is compulsory. Every child should be trained up as brahmacārī. Then, when he is completely trained up, if he still likes to get into married life or householder life, which is a concession for sex life... It is not required. According to Vedic civilization it is not required. You'll find, therefore, many naiṣṭhika-brahmacārīs. Naiṣṭhika means never any connection with woman. That is called naiṣṭhika-brahmacārī. And upakurvaṅa-brahmacārī. Upakurvaṅa-brahmacārī means he is married, but not for enjoying. He is married and to beget nice children under the order of his spiritual master. He is also brahmacārī. If a gṛhastha abides by the order of a guru, he is also brahmacārī. So here it is said jitendriya. Suśīlaḥ mita-bhug dakṣaḥ śraddadhāno jitendriyaḥ. Senses should not be used extravagantly. The modern civilization is that if you can use your senses more and more, then you are civilized. Then you are enjoyer. So Vedic civilization is different. Their aim is different. The whole scheme is controlling the senses, especially sex, because if we become too much addicted to sex life, then our life is spoiled. This is this.

Therefore next line it is said, yāvad-arthaṁ vyavaharet strīṣu. With woman you should be very, very cautious and careful, as much as required, not free mingling. No. Therefore, according to Vedic civilization, there is always a separation between women and men. Here in India we find that whenever there is some meeting, the women are sitting separately; men are sitting separately. This is required. Not only that, you cannot talk even with woman unnecessarily, even with your wife. This is restriction. Therefore it is said, yāvad-arthaṁ vyavaharet: "as much as it is required." Don't talk unnecessarily, "Phish, phish, phish." That is very dangerous. Dangerous means in spiritual life. Yāvad-artham. Even with your mother, with your daughter, with your sister, you cannot sit in a solitary place and talk. This is restricted. What to speak of others, even with your mother.

mātrā svasrā duhitrā vā nāviviktāsane vaset balavān indriya-grāmo vidvāṁsam api karṣati [SB 9.19.17]

[One should not allow oneself to sit on the same seat even with one's own mother, sister or daughter, for the senses are so strong that even though one is very advanced in knowledge, he may be attracted by sex.]

So according to Vedic civilization there is very, very strict stricture to mix with women. And in our childhood, we have seen in Calcutta that those who are aristocratic family, there are two section of the house—male section and female section. During daytime even the husband cannot meet wife. This is their restriction, even the husband. There was no chance, because the women were in different house and men in a different house. So many restriction. So here it is said, yāvad-arthaṁ vyavaharet strīṣu... [break] [end]